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帮我检查一下英语日记,

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:搜搜考试网作业帮 分类:英语作业 时间:2024/04/30 03:08:56
帮我检查一下英语日记,
日记要过去时吗?
文章:Date,August14th Weather,Sunny
Today is the forth day in the Jeju,Korea.We can rest a half day.In the morning,we drunk porridge.It wasn’t sumptuous.Then,we go to a beach.And we visited the Yongdusan.It was a big stone,like a dragon.We took a lot of photos with it.My friend found a crab.He caught it.It was so small.After that,we go to a mountain.It was.We didn’t climb it.We didn’t have more time.It was behind an ocean.We saw a speedboat on the water.Then,we go to a village.It was very old.Some people life in there.At noon,we ate roast.They were pork.I loved them.They were delicious.There were many people ate lunch.In the afternoon,we watched others marching bands’ play.They were the best.They were wonderful.The marching band form U.S.A was a gorgeous marching band.Tomorrow,we will join the final match; I wish we can get the first,good luck!
had no time!
帮我检查一下英语日记,
Today is the forth day in Jeju, Korea.(专有地名前不加THE)
We can rest for(一段时间之前加介词FOR) a half day.
In the morning(同一句无连接词逗号不必要)we had(这里的喝稀饭用have更地道)some(没有语法错误,但是加个some舒服多了) porridge.
It wasn’t sumptuous.
Then, we went(过去时) to the(把a换成the,这里特指济州的海边)beach.
There(把and换成there,地点的逻辑更清楚,不是语法错误但是有点别扭,我去过济州,你指的是龙头岩对吧,龙头岩在海边,所以说在那里我们参观了龙头岩) we visited the Yongdusan.
It was a big rock(把stone换成rock,前者泛指石头,后者指岩石,济周是火山岩石地貌)that looks like a dragon(逗号去掉,理由同前;把像龙一样改成定语从句,整个句子表达地道了很多).
We took a lot of photos of(把with改成of,这是给.拍照片的固定用法) it.
My friend found a crab,(这里就应该用逗号,单独成句太单薄,这样也为句子变换不同的句式,读起来不枯燥)and(加and,表示承接,这样更有逻辑) he caught it.
It was very(用so感觉后面还有没说完的话,very比较好) small. After that, we went(过去时) to a mountain.
(It was 不是个句子,亲爱的你好像少打了个词,我先去掉)
But(逻辑关系更清楚) We didn’t climb it.
We didn’t have (more改成much,因为没有比较所以用原级,或者enough足够的) time. It was (behind改成next to,山在海后面不通,应该是山海相依) an ocean.
We saw a speedboat on the ocean(在海上比在水上好得多).
Then, we went(过去时) to a village.
It was very old.
Some people live(用动词) (in去掉,there是副词,前面不必加介词) there.
At noon, we ate roasted pork(我们吃了烤猪肉,这样说比较地道,烧烤的话是babecue). I loved it(pork不可数,代词用it). It(同上) were delicious.
There were many people eating(动词的非谓语作定语)lunch.
In the afternoon, we watched some people(others其他人,不说两部分人的时候不用为好) marching(march不可数,后面不加宾语,这样就可以表达了).
They were great(best是最高级,没有比较时不用)and (把这个句子与前一句合并,避免重复)wonderful.
The marching band form U.S.A was a gorgeous marching band.(好句子,向楼主学习)
Tomorrow, we will join the final match;
I wish we can get the first place(得第一的固定搭配). Good luck!(按照句子规则应独立成句)
楼主的文章线索还是很清晰的,细微的地方做到更符合语法和习惯就好了,应该没有什么问题了,应该说已经比较通顺了,我也刚从韩国旅游回来,文章中的景点我都去了,济洲风景不错.