求一篇英语小短文英语的...不要太复杂...不要太长...最好不要超过五十个字...要幽默的...像笑话的样子...还有

求一篇英语小短文
英语的...不要太复杂...不要太长...最好不要超过五十个字...要幽默的...像笑话的样子...还有...如果叙事...最好是第三人称...

一个男人和他的老婆
A man and his wife were doing yard work.The husband said to his wife,"Your butt is as wide as the grill." She ignored his remark.A little later,the husband took his measuring tape and measured his wife`s rear end while she was bending over working in a flower bed."Geeze,honey,it IS as wide as the grill!" She again ignored his remark.Later that night,while in bed,the husband started to feel frisky.He rolled over to start something with his wife and she calmly rolled away from him saying,"If you think I`m gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener,forget it!"
一个男人和他老婆从事调车场的工作.老公对老婆说：“你的屁股跟这个铁窗一样宽.”他老婆没注意他的提醒.一会,当他老婆弯下身去在一个较低机床上工作时,老公拿起他的卷尺量起老婆的后面.“GEEZE,甜心,你的屁股真的跟这铁窗一样宽!”老婆又没注意他说什么.又一会,到了晚上睡觉时,老公感觉快活起来.他翻身准备跟老婆做些什么然而老婆却翻身离开说：“如果你想我用一根小小的香肠去焊铁窗,别忘想!”
TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher:Tom,why are you late for school every day?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆：我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行."
DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?
One day,Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right.The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.He called Tim to his desk and said to him,"You got all your homework right this time,Tim.What happened?Did your father help you?"
"No,sir.He was too busy last night,so I had to do it all myself," said Tim.
你爸爸帮你了吗?
一天,蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业,发现他全做对了.老师很高兴,同时也十分惊讶.他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆,你这次的作业全都做对了,怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?"
"不,先生,我爸爸昨天很忙,我不得不全由自己做了."