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谁来帮我修改一下英语作文,奖金多多.

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谁来帮我修改一下英语作文,奖金多多.
谁帮我把这篇英语作文修改的更生动一下,查出单词、语法、标点错误,修改单词最好不要超过初中范围.谁改得越好悬赏就是谁的,还有更多的奖励!
Today is a fine day,the sun is shine,the sky is bule,and some cloudys are in the sky.I am going to visit GuiLin with my grandparents today.
We go to GuiLin by bus,after two hours.We get to GuiLin.First ,we go to The Seven Star Park,it's a beautiful and famous park.There are some follows in the park,red,yellow,white and orange.They all are very lovely and beautiful.We take many photos in front of the graden.A little white later,we go to the zoo in the park.There are many animals in the zoo,like lion,monkey,tiger,bird and beer.I like brid best,because they have got beautiful feather and can sing many good songs.We watch animals' activity and feed something for them.
After leaving The Seven Star Park.We go to the LiRiver.There are many famous plases beside or on the LiRver.We meet many foreign man.The Li River's water is very clean an the hills are green,it looks like a wonderful picture.We stay beside the Li River a long time,feel very happy.
When we are tired,we take bus home,too.We have a lovely time!
谁来帮我修改一下英语作文,奖金多多.
这个作文典型的中国式思维 尤其是开头
Today was a fine and cloudy day,and the sky looked blue.I planned to visit Guilin with my grandfather.we spent 2 hours to Guilin by bus.when we got to Guilin ,we went to th seven star park as soon as possible(,which is a beautiful and famous park.如果你们学过定语重句 )(如果没学国定语重句,前面括号内的话变为.this park is a beautiful and famous.)there were many kinds of colours of flowers(这个词错了你).They all are very lovely and beautiful.We took many photos of the graden.After a while,we went to the zoo in the park.There are also many animals in the zoo,like lion,monkey,tiger,bird and beer.I like brid best,because they have got beautiful feather and can sing many good songs.We watch animals' activity and feed something for them.
After leaving The Seven Star Park,we went to the LiRiver.There are many famous places and bridges beside and on the LiRver.We met many foreigners .The Li River's water was very clean and the hills was green,it looks like a wonderful picture.We stayed beside the Li River a long time,feel very happy.
When we felt tired,we took the bus back home.We have.What a lovely time!