逐句分析的追加5-10分,求帮修改作文,写错语法错误需要改正的地方,15分满分能打几分?

来源：学生作业帮编辑：搜搜考试网作业帮分类：英语作业时间：2024/06/06 07:42:04

逐句分析的追加5-10分,求帮修改作文,写错语法错误需要改正的地方,15分满分能打几分?
近几年大学校园内经常举办一些选秀活动,这些活动代理的影响,你对此的看法
in recent years,the talent-search show on campus,which has been brought into focus.many students eager to take part in the talent-seach shows on campus,like "Happy boy"、“Beautiful girl” and so on.
as everyone sees,talent-search shows make our college life colorful,it brings great influence on us.above all ,this kind of activities not only can increase our confidence ,but also provide a chance for us to show ourselves completely.what is more ,talent-seach shows bring some negetive effects on us at the same time.all talent-search shows are call for so much time that students have no time to concentrate on their studies.
from my opinion of view,every coin has two sides.,so do talent-search shows.as college students.we should attend various activities positively as we have time,but we can't spend too much time to do that.we should take our time to study or to attend acitvities properly.

朋友,这篇文章应该超不过9分.理由：首先还是要恭喜你一下的,因为4、7、8、9这几句基本上没问题.不足之处：第一、二句都是缺乏谓语的；第三句应用连词and 串起,不然就成了中式英语了；第五句的转折词应该是however 表示转折,因为你前面说的是好的方面,接下来说的不好的方面；第六句不用are,否则call for 就不是谓语,又变成没谓语的了.
修改版：（1） In recent years, many talent-search shows are held on campus, which has been brought into focus. （2）Many students are eager to take part in the talent-seach shows on campus,such as "Happy boy"、“Beautiful girl” and so on.
( 3 ) As we all know,talent-search shows make our college life more colorful and bring great influence to us. ( 4 ) They can not only increase our confidence ,but also provide a chance for us to show ourselves completely. ( 5 ).However,they may bring some negative effects at the same time. ( 6 )these shows call for so much time that students have no time to concentrate on their studies.
( 7 ) From my opinion of view, every coin has two sides and so do talent-search shows. ( 8 )As college students. we should attend various activities positively when we have time, but we can't spend too much time to do that.( 9 )We should keep a balance between our our study and acitvities .