哪位英语好的好心人能帮我修改下作文.在此万分感激.主要是看下语法句型上的错误.

哪位英语好的好心人能帮我修改下作文.在此万分感激.主要是看下语法句型上的错误.
题目是Should college students own cars?
1现在有不少大学生自己开车上学
2对这种行为人们看法不一
3在我看来
Accroding to a recent survey,up to 25% of college student have own cars to go to universitr.It has been prevailing among students in recent years.
There is no consensus among the people as to whether we should go to school by driving own cars.Some people hold idea that college students have own cars is unquestionable benefical to them.As far as they concerned,students drive their cars go to school which can save their time.They can spend more time on their studing and prictice .On the other hand,others may have a quite different view.According to them,students have own cars which can also do much harm.For example,students will campare with others band of cars.It will give rise side effects.Moreover ,as a students ,they may be lack of safety awareness.It is very dangerous for college students.
In my view,few men will deny that drive cars by students has benefits and problems.But we should do is to try our best to make matters better and bypass its side effects.And we must realized that with the development cities,students idea are very different past time .

Accroding to a recent survey,up to 25% of college student have own cars to go to university.It has been prevailing among students in recent years.
There is no consensus among (the 去掉) people as to whether we should go to school by (driving 多余,去掉) (our) own cars.
Some people hold (the) idea that college students have own cars is unquestionable (benefical 拼错了,beneficial) to them.
college students have own cars is unquestionable beneficial有语法错误,出现了两个动词have,go,建议改为：it is unquestionable beneficial for college students to have their own cars.
As far as they (concerned,ed去掉),students drive their cars go to school which can save their time.
有语法错误,出现了两个动词drive,go.建议改为：As far as they concern, for students going to school by car can save their time.
They can spend more time on their studing(改成study) and prictice(拼错了) .On the other hand（既然用了on the other hand,那上文中应出现on one hand才对呀,你这用的显得很突兀,建议改成However）,others may have a quite different view.
According to them,students have own cars which can also do much harm.
你这句话想表达的观点是学生有自己的车会造成伤害,然后你用which指代了students have own cars,这种用法是不正确的,which只能指代主语、宾语,不能指代整个句子.建议改为：It can also do much harm to students who have their own cars.
For example,students will campare with others (in) (the) band of cars.
It will give rise side effects.这句话啥意思?
Moreover , as a （students,s去掉） ,they may be lack of safety awareness.It is very dangerous for college students.
In my view,few men will deny that drive cars by students has （both）benefits and problems.
感觉你是按照中文思维“学生开车有利有弊”写的这句话,虽无语法错误,但这样这样不好.建议改为"It has both benefits and problems for students to drive their own car.
But (what) we should do is to try our best to make matters better and bypass its side effects. And we must realized(ed去掉) that with the development cities,students idea are very different past time .
世上像我这么有爱心的人哪里找,5个金币给你写这么多.好好努力吧,多看看语法书.
再问： 首先万分感谢你啊。但是我还是有如下几个问题： 1.which不是可以指代前面整个句子的吗，为什么你说不能指代。 2.students drive their cars go to school which can save their time出现2个动词我可以写成,students drive their cars to go to school which can save their time. 3.It will give rise side effects.这句话是它将引起负面效应。 4.还有问下这篇文章放六级考试里，我这样写大概可以给个多少分？满分是15分。
再答： 1. which确实有指代整个句子的用法，例如：Jack came late for school, which made his teacher angry. 但你那么用不合适：According to them,students have own cars which can also do much harm. 你的主句是students have own cars，给读者的感觉是你在陈述学生有车这一事实，而which部分则只是在辅助说明有害。你既然是在写some people的观点，那落脚点应该是造成伤害才对。此外即使你用which指代整句话，那也得加个逗号（我没有具体去考证，但起码以前见过的用which引导整个句子的例句都加了逗号）。否则很容易让人产生误解，以为你在用which指代前面句子的某一名词成分。 2. 你可能还是想用which指代整个句子的用法，这样虽然可以，但不好。原因同上，给人感觉你是在陈述"students drive their cars to go to school"，而不是在强调“save their time”。 3. rise你用的是什么词性，如果是名词词性，那么rise后面少介词；如果是动词词性那么整句语法有问题，两个动词 4. 这个很难说，因为我不是评分人。