求大一英语对话小笑话、大概时间三分钟左右、双人对话的、伴中文提示、谢谢

求大一英语对话小笑话、大概时间三分钟左右、双人对话的、伴中文提示、谢谢

有一天,俺商店里来了个外国人买西餐料.他选好一样东西,俺就在计算器上摁出价钱给他看.当然俺有点不好意思了,而且俺还会句英语.
于是 ,俺就对他说：
“I am sorry”.
“I am sorry, too” 外国人回答.
“I am sorry three” 我道.
“What are you sorry for?” 外国人问.
“I am sorry five” 我说……
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?）
女：Actually I''d rather have the money.（不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱.
）
经典对话二：
this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧?）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的.）
经典对话五：
男：Haven''t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你?）
女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.（是的.这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因.）
经典对话六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?）
女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉.这个周末我头疼.）
男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗?）
女：Why? Don''t you already have one? （为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?）
经典对话三：
男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师.我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸.）
女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生.我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸.）
经典对话四：
经典对话七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐.）
女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗?你是说你要离开?）
1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
3. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS: Big hands!
4. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.
5. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
1．Do You Know My Work?
One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work,” said the other．
“What is your work?”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh!” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
译文：（自己简单翻译）
你知道我是干什么的吗?
一天晚上,一家旅馆失火,住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来.
两个人站在外面,看着大火.
“在我出来之前,”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间,找到了一大笔钱.人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的.如果有人把纸币留在火里,火就会把它烧成灰烬.所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了.没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷.”
“你不知道我是干什么的.”另一个说.
“你是干什么的?”
“我是警察.”
“噢!”第一个人喊了一声.他灵机一动,说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道.”警察说.
“我是个作家.我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事.
1 A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!一个小男孩问他的爸爸,结婚要花多少钱?爸爸说：我不知道,因为我仍然在付帐.
2 A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?"
"Please, teacher,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday."
"Well done. Who was that?"
"My granny."
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"
一个主日学校校(基督教教会为了向儿童灌输宗教思想, 在星期天开办的儿童班)的老师在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性.“现在,孩子们,”她说：“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过?”
“我,老师,”一个小男孩说：“昨天我就使别人高兴过.”
“做得好,是谁呢?”
“我奶奶.”
“好孩子.现在告诉我们,你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的.”
“是这样的,老师.我昨天去看她,在她那儿呆了三个小时.然后我跟她说：‘奶奶,我要回家了.’她说：‘啊,我很高兴!
3 Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."
"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"
"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.
"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".
迪克年龄七岁,他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁.一天,妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩,自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服.
孩子们玩了个把小时,在四点半的时候,姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房.她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并对他说：“喏,迪克,给你刀子,把这块蛋糕一切为二,给你妹妹一块.不过,你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样.”
迪克问：“像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?”
他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的.”
迪克说了一声“噢”.他对此想了一会,然后,他把蛋糕拿给妹妹,并对她说：“凯瑟琳,你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧.”
4 Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom .
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!