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老师您好,这是我们高三模考的题目,我得了15分,英语不如我的同学都得了18分,我觉得老师给我的分数偏低了,但是我不好意思

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老师您好,这是我们高三模考的题目,我得了15分,英语不如我的同学都得了18分,我觉得老师给我的分数偏低了,但是我不好意思跟老师沟通,所以来这里问问,您不用给我改,我知道哪里有瑕疵,您就说说我的这个作文是不是确实只能给15,万分感谢!!万分忐忑!!
一句话概述您的困惑点,获得老师针对性解答我的作文如下: I'm glad to hear that you took the first place in the English speech competition.Congratulations.As we all known,Rome is not built in a day,you must overcame lots of difficulties.Your effort is worth and you deserve it.The English study method is different vary from person to person.What about yours?Could you show me your experiences? At last,I hope you will get better grade last time.Looking forward to your reply.
老师您好,这是我们高三模考的题目,我得了15分,英语不如我的同学都得了18分,我觉得老师给我的分数偏低了,但是我不好意思
解题思路: 理解作文题材和体裁;设置恰当的框架布局;精心组织语言;内容要全面。
解题过程:
你好,分析如下 I'm glad to hear that you took the first place in the English speech competition.Congratulations.As we all known,Rome is not built in a day,you must overcame lots of difficulties.Your effort is worth and you deserve it.The English study method is different vary from person to person.What about yours?Could you show me your experiences?At last,I hope you will get better grade last time.Looking forward to your reply. 优点:要点都有所涉及;能运用定语,名词性从句等较高级的句型;能运用effort,deservevary,look forward to 等较正式的高频词语。 需改善:字数需增加;文章应合理布局---分段;双语翻译用词需考虑;句子结构有待完善;研究英语句子的表达形式。 修改如下: I'm glad to hear that you have taken the first place in the English speech contest.Congratulations to you.As we all know,Rome is not built in a day,you must have overcame lots of difficulties.Your efforts are worth it. I think it is the way you learn English that accounts for your success,especially you are always sticking to the habit.Could you share your experience with us? I will appreciate it if you offer it. Now ,from the bottom of my heart,I show you my best best wishes,hoping you will get a better grade next time.Looking forward to your reply. 愿你满意,异议来信。
最终答案: